Professional wrestling is “nothing more than a soap opera for men,” according to 29-year-old Jessica Fletcher, a habitual purveyor of trite, worn-out cliches.

“You could call it a rope opera!” she added in an annoying, know-it-all tone that her coworkers and acquaintances have come to loathe.

Fletcher made the comments yesterday after seeing an advertisement for a WWE live event in her hometown of Buffalo. She then bleated several more hackneyed cliches about how wrestling is “a form of theater” and wrestlers are “physical actors.”

After seeing footage of a chairshot delivered by CM Punk to Chris Jericho, the vapid half-wit squealed: “Youch — how do you fake that!?”