Roughly 70,000 wrestling fans will gather at New Orleans’ Mercedes-Benz Superdome for the WrestleMania 30 pay-per-view on April 6 — the largest assembly of smelly, unwashed people at the stadium since Hurricane Katrina.

The flagship event of World Wrestling Entertainment will host a sell-out crowd of wrestling fans from all over the world, the vast majority of whom have personal hygiene habits comparable to persons displaced by a natural disaster.

The Superdome became a temporary shelter for thousands of New Orleans citizens after storm surges breached the city’s levees in 2005, forcing them to live in conditions similar to the basement dwellings of most wrestling fans.

Whereas the people displaced by Katrina were forced to forsake hygiene due to a lack of running water and electricity, typical wrestling fans voluntarily live in a state of perpetual grime.

WWE is reportedly equipping the Superdome with a state-of-the-art ventilation system in order to off-gas the stench of beer belches, hot dog flatulence, and never-been-washed D-X t-shirts from 1997.

If disaster strikes again and storm surges breach the city’s levees, it will likely be the first bath many wrestling fans have taken in ages.

 

Keep it Kayfabe: wear the shirt!