Dastardly sports entertainer Kevin Owens made a crucial mistake, again, at WrestleMania when he forgot, again, that a steel chair swung toward taut ring ropes can embarrassingly and painfully rebound into one’s own cranium again.
The terrible irony of his predicament — an almost-Sisyphean tragedy of endless futility — is that Owens continues to make the mistake precisely because he continues to make the same mistake.
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Almost like some kind of horrifying perpetual motion machine, Owens, like many of his fellow sports-entertainers, regularly forgets how basic elasticity works because a split-second after he learns about it, that nugget of knowledge is suddenly bonked out of his brain by chair returning with predictable Newtonian force.
Owens is only the latest in a long list of pro sports-entertainers who suffer from Kinetic Frequent Amnesiac-Brain Entittlitis (KFABE), which includes legends like The Rock did, and Stone Cold Steve Austin did, and Kurt Angle did, and this little fella did, and this rotund chap in a mask did, and Pinkytrunks McGee did,
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