Amid escalating tensions with WWE Hall of Famer and US President Donald J. Trump, Canadian Prime Minister Jacques Rougeau announced this week that Canada’s border guards will be armed with state-of-the-art cattle prods to zap illegal crossers.

“We always get our man,” said Rougeau during a press conference, flanked by Canadian Foreign Affairs Minister Melanie Joly, Finance Minister Raymond Rougeau, and US Ambassador Jimmy Hart.

PM Rougeau announced during a press conference at Ottawa’s “Tunney Tower” that the high-tech cattle prods would drastically reduce the flow across the Canada-US border of the controlled substance ICO PRO.

Border guards armed with cattle prods will also curb the stem of illegal immigration across the US-Canada border, thus finally preventing those filthy, good-for-nothing Americans from visiting the better version of Niagara Falls.