Bursting out of semi-retirement, legendary wrestler Ric Flair and still-weirdly-boyishly-handsome former WCW promoter Eric Bischoff confirmed today the upcoming sequel to Collision in Korea, to be attended by at least 405,000 coerced and confused North Korean citizens. 

The event — the long-awaited sequel to the 1995 Collision in Korea, a beautiful celebration of freedom and international cooperation — will be held on December 25 at the Kim Jong-Un Phallus Palace Stadium. 

Collision in Korea 2 will feature a main event pitting Ric Flair (who was defeated by Antonio Inoki in the original event) against Hulk Hogan in a first-time-ever-in-Korea “Hair vs. Hair” match. 

Also confirmed for Collision in Korea 2:

• 2 Cold Scorpio vs. Heidenreich
• Ryback vs. Jun Kasai
• Local Patriotic Hero vs. Evil Foreign Enemy (stars of the newly founded KJUPNKCPW, or Kim Jong-un’s North Korean Championship Pro Wrestling)
• Jerry Lawler vs. Terry Funk (Match four in a best-0f-34 series of retirement matches)
• Scott Norton vs. breakout Korean superstar The Phone Tapper

Due to the drastic differences in time zones, Collision From Korea will air live on pay-per-view at 3 am last Thursday. 

HURRY! Last chance to get a Kayfabe News shirt!*