The key to survival in World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) is to “adapt or perish,” according to the leader of a resurrected faction with a hackneyed gimmick dating back to 2003.

Triple-H, who has made the exact same water-spewing ring entrance roughly 9,500 times during his two-decade WWE tenure, is the figurehead of the rebooted faction Evolution.

The irony, it seems, is entirely lost on him.

“It’s survival of the fittest, and only those who thrive will survive,” said the 44-year-old part-time wrestler with a history of debilitating quadriceps injuries.

“It’s the law of the jungle,” added the multimillionaire who spends most of his weekdays in a corporate boardroom or by poolside at his Connecticut mansion.

Until recently, Triple-H was accompanied in Evolution by Batista, but a strange mutation led to “The Animal” exhibiting bright blue plumage, which was not conducive to his long-term survival.

The recent addition of Seth Rollins to Evolution was seen by some as evidence of adaptation, but most observers insist it is more likely a a rare piece of evidence in favor of intelligent design.

 

Keep it Kayfabe: Wear the Shirt!