World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) confirmed today that, after long absences from the spotlight, professional wrestlers CM Punk and The Undertaker will make their much-anticipated returns on the second season of “popular” reality TV program Legends House.

According to a press release issued today from WWE’s Stamford headquarters, Punk and the Undertaker “will be the ultimate odd couple in a house filled with zany former Superstars® of World Wrestling Entertainment™, exclusively on the WWE Network.®“

While many fans shared the opinion that the Undertaker and Punk had completely retired from in-ring action, few considered the possibility that the wrestlers might reappear on a hokey, contrived, and utterly brainless program in which washed-up wrestlers make boobs of themselves for one last payday.

Joining Punk and the Undertaker in a garishly decorated and brightly lit mansion will be desperate former stars including Michael Hayes, The Iron Sheik, Ken Patera, Virgil, Barry Horowitz, and Mordecai.

In the season premiere, Punk will be seen struggling to make non-alcoholic Pomtinis for his housemates, while the Undertaker gets accidentally locked in the pantry.

According to one critic who has seen an early preview of the show, it’s “absolutely terrible, but practically Shakespearean compared to Total Divas.”