A local curmudgeon is sick and tired of a young “rapscallion in a silly SWAT Tteam costume” trespassing on his yard, and has vowed to finally “give that kid the a real paddlin'” this Sunday in Orlando, Florida. 

“This is my yard,” grumbled the old-timer, a dour loner known for his past skirmishes with other cocky ruffians who have dared set foot on his turf. “Damned kids these days have no respect for their elders, I tell you.”

The long-haired young ne’er-do-well responded with a petulant taunt: “No, it’s my yard, gramps!”

The young trespasser has spent the past couple of years claiming to the “the guy” who now owns the yard, but the crusty geezer — who only emerges once a year to chase away intruders before re-entering a hibernative slumber — is not ready to give up his yard just yet. 

Last night, the grumpy codger was spotted by neighbors digging holes in his yard, into which he apparently intends to hurl the young whippersnapper on Sunday. 

“If that twerp comes back on my yard, I’ll take him behind the shed and put him down like a big dog,” said the mean and callous old man, whom neighbours believe is named Mark. “I’m sick of chasing away these rapscallions — I just want to get some rest in peace!”

 

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